Once upon a time
not long ago
I lived for others
whom I did not know
One Day
during Christmas Time
I decided to give of myself
not knowing this would be the last time
I marketed both far and wide
to try
to make Christmas
in a child's life
Most were honest
yet it was unfair
how much I did
It felt like no one cared
Till it was
it came time
to hand gifts out
line by line
I crossed them off
and boxed them up
shipped most
delivered some
Where this story goes array
is when I contacted local families
to say when I would be by
There was a chance
to pass
if life had changed
But there I was
a small bag in hand
with gifts for 2 small girls
I do not recall their names
Yet I do recall
driving up to a newly built home
with nice new toys left in the snow
A flat screen T.V box
propped up by the garage
and gift boxes
spilling out of the trash can
Yet they signed up
for Christmas gifts for their children
I remember walking slowly to the door
shaking my head
Feeling my heart sink
further than ever before
That day I was taken advantage of
knowingly
and it burned
and then it scarred
Even though a few years past
I feel it now
ever so much more
Thinking of those
who are really in need
and the others
that conceive that they are deserving
Most of the time I look the other way
or wait for God to call out my name
I have put feeling for one
on the back burner for now
maybe forever
Until someone can show me different
Even as I type now
I feel taken advantage of
used, and even abused
by the false hearted "needy"
I wish I knew how to fix me
but the way I see it
is simply I see
