A Christmas Story

Once upon a time

not long ago

I lived for others

whom I did not know

One Day

during Christmas Time

I decided to give of myself

not knowing this would be the last time

I marketed both far and wide

to try

to make Christmas

in a child's life

Most were honest

yet it was unfair

how much I did

It felt like no one cared

Till it was

it came time

to hand gifts out

line by line

I crossed them off

and boxed them up

shipped most

delivered some

Where this story goes array

is when I contacted local families

to say when I would be by

There was a chance

to pass

if life had changed

But there I was

a small bag in hand

with gifts for 2 small girls

I do not recall their names

Yet I do recall

driving up to a newly built home

with nice new toys left in the snow

A flat screen T.V box

propped up by the garage

and gift boxes

spilling out of the trash can

Yet they signed up

for Christmas gifts for their children

I remember walking slowly to the door

shaking my head

Feeling my heart sink

further than ever before

That day I was  taken advantage of

knowingly

and it burned

and then it scarred

Even though a few years past

I feel it now

ever so much more

Thinking of those

who are really in need

and the others

that conceive that they are deserving

Most of the time I look the other way

or wait for God to call out my name

I have put feeling for one

on the back burner for now

maybe forever

Until someone can show me different

Even as I type now

I feel taken advantage of

used, and even abused

by the false hearted "needy"

I wish I knew how to fix me

but the way I see it

is simply I see