Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Christmas Story

Once upon a time
not long ago
I lived for others
whom I did not know

One Day
during Christmas Time
I decided to give of myself
not knowing this would be the last time

I marketed both far and wide
to try
to make Christmas
in a child's life

Most were honest
yet it was unfair
how much I did
It felt like no one cared

Till it was
it came time
to hand gifts out
line by line

I crossed them off
and boxed them up
shipped most
delivered some

Where this story goes array
is when I contacted local families
to say when I would be by

There was a chance
to pass
if life had changed

But there I was
a small bag in hand
with gifts for 2 small girls
I do not recall their names

Yet I do recall
driving up to a newly built home
with nice new toys left in the snow

A flat screen T.V box
propped up by the garage
and gift boxes
spilling out of the trash can

Yet they signed up
for Christmas gifts for their children

I remember walking slowly to the door
shaking my head
Feeling my heart sink
further than ever before

That day I was  taken advantage of
and it burned
and then it scarred

Even though a few years past
I feel it now
ever so much more

Thinking of those
who are really in need
and the others
that conceive that they are deserving

Most of the time I look the other way
or wait for God to call out my name

I have put feeling for one
on the back burner for now
maybe forever

Until someone can show me different

Even as I type now
I feel taken advantage of
used, and even abused
by the false hearted "needy"

I wish I knew how to fix me
but the way I see it
is simply I see

Saturday, December 18, 2010


I cannot believe it has been 5 days since my last post
I guess Christmas finally caught up with me
Along with never ending baking
After all it is Christmas

I have thought about recycling my posts from my closed blog
but then idk?

So much to be said for startin' a new

I plan on picking friends even more carefully from now on
Not wearing my emotions on my sleeve
and baking more for fun

Merry Christmas

Monday, December 13, 2010


Rather Tonight,
I sit here in my boy short and tank top
eating shaved ham on wheat thins
Sippin' on a diet Pepsi and
I finally can breathe

Christmas program part deux
The wee dude was a wild beast
I feel exhausted
and I have so much more to do before my head hits the pillow

I have to admit
I walk around in my underwear
I eat snacks, preferably meat late at night
I am an extended breast feeder
and my son is sleeping in his crib for like the 5th time in his life

I am tired
and the 4 loads of laundry
are cursing at me
calling me dirty names

I hope tomorrow comes slowly

Sunday, December 12, 2010


Okay so there I was drivin' and we have this corner that
must be a hot spot for the local beggars
cause this one woman ran up with her cardboard sign
and then all of a sudden
another woman jumped out of the bushes
and ran to the corner holding her cardboard sign
Then, THEN
they stared getting in a verbal fight
wafting their signs in the others face
Bopping each other in the face
with their sign of beggary
all the while
I laughed
and thought if that have that much stamina
maybe they should try for a job?

Today I was called ma'am
by a young man half my age
although I thoroughly appreciate the politeness
It kinda made me feel old,....

My wee dude ate his 1st french fry today
he is in love

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I am Trying

I have to admit it
I am not sure that I want to
but maybe if I do
it will be my step towards recovery

I  after many attempts
am still not in the Christmas Mood
4 batches of cinnamon glass candy
about 100 chocolate truffles
and 3 batches of fudge
have not moved my soul one bit
rather a notch on my belt
le sigh,....

I wish the songs that I have forced to fill my ears
would bring me to a place
of Christmas Time
A Place of Jingle bells and smiling  faces
Yet I find myself shoveling heaping spoon fulls of cheer down my wee throat
Praying that Joy will soon be here

Now my final attempt starts now
I will make my grandfather's favorite cookie

Even though the thought of being away from him
during this season
makes me weep
like a lil' child with a scraped knee

Boo for me

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Apply Within

I am looking to add to my gold collection
Golden friendships that is,..
I might have someone in mind

If you are
and generally in a cheery mood
Then I want you!
To Stalk
er,..I mean Support ;)
If you like communicating
and don't mind offering a kind ear
and in the midst of it all
can  and want to call on me to be your ear
Then I definitely want you in my life
If you desire the constant stroking of your ego Than I am a shoe in
and visa versa
So If you rock and wanna rock with me
Apply within

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Every time the Hub passes the T.V. Treat, he grabs a handful
The Tylenol and Ibuprofen have kicked a 103. fever's Arse
I made fudge for the 1st time today and the house is still standing
I made a second batch of fudge with a candy thermometer and didn't burn myself
I am making ham and cheese melts with garlic Texas toast
I washed, folded and put away 6 loads of laundry
I have backpacks ready sitting by the door

Nener Nener nener
I Win!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Holy Thoughts of Thankfull~ness

Nothing worse than a child that lay ill on a Saturday
Yet I thank the stars above for my many blessings
including availability to simple medicines
a roof
and warm clothes

So even though I am on 15 minute sip watch with my wee
frail sick darling

I feel compelled to share the many ways there are to be thankful

I know at my daughter's school they have a "Giving Tree"
We took 4 children
and got them a gift
"Those have the least gave the most"

Yet there are more ways
a gentle smile,..
opening a door
seeing someone fall and coming to their aid
Blessings we all have
but do we use them in the way the Good Lord intended us to?
Many of us are very aware of our gifts,being of this earth
but do we forget that our talents are just as valuable?

Let us have open eyes and hearts to give of ourselves
Of our gifts, or of our talents

( I am super gifted in clearance shopping, and one of my many talents is making a penny stretch further than ever thought possible)

I am thankful my daughter has taken to the ibuprofen finally
I am thankful that I get to hear how much she loves me after I wash away
the accounts she tossed upon me
I will always be thankful

Shouldn't be,...

but is,...
Christmas has put a
rather foul taste in my mouth
and I am not happy about it
Boo,.. back to baking I suppose

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Define Me

I am Not the Trophy Wife
Nor do I wear stilettos in the snow
I no longer Drive an SUV
Or go to Pilate's
I wear just a touch of makeup
cover girl I think
I like My North face
I know the ladies at Starbucks by name
I do Not wear a wedding Ring
I don't own my home
I just got a Green mini van
and I drive it like an Suv
I drink diet
and like my steak medium rare
I am a self taught baker
I curl my hair
I like to dye it black
I like people to like me for me
not what they can get out of me
I am a fierce mother
I believe in accountability
I believe in love
in fairy tales, angels and God
I hate olives
and temper Tantrums
I have been married  for 9 years
and I still like my husband
My favorite movie is the sound of music
I believe in giving to the poor
define me,.......